so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
