Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
