That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
