i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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