I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
