If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
