i permit you to call me
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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