We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My dick has a subreddit
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
