She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
