Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
