I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
