how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
