im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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