So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
