New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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