...so i touched it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
