he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
