Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
