i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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