im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
