i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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