uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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