I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
