im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
