I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
