just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
