You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize