shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
