Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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