Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
