the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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