I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
