Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
