oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
