I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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