Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
