Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
