I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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