WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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