Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
