So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
