this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
