He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
