She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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