hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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