At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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