R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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