Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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