I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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