soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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