lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
