She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
