I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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