I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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