I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize