yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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