he wants to bone in the snuggie
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize