Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
