he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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