i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
